Complicated Love
by infinite nemo
Summary: Kaoru has always been in the shadow of her older sister, Megumi, but now things are changing, especially when Megumi's boyfriend (and Kaoru's long time crush) starts paying attention to her AU (edited)


This fic is going to be loosely based on a mini-series that played in Taiwan about… la, 7 years ago? Because I saw the whole thing on tape when someone brought it to the U.S. so… (and that was years ago)- I don't remember what the miniseries was so I can't give anybody credit… or translate the name… however, if the storyline seems familiar to anyone or if they know what it was called I'd love to know (not just to put it in the disclaimers but to try to find and watch…) I hope that sufficiently told you that I own nothing of this, other than gaps that I can't remember and the awful characterizations. 

Chapter 1: Trouble at Home

            Kaoru snuck into the house, trying to make as little noise as possible. It was only mid-morning, but that was part of the problem. She hadn't come home last night. Both her parents were in the living room as it was Saturday. Her father was reading the newspaper, and her mother was busily arranging flowers. All Kaoru had to do was get past the small doorway and she'd be free to run up the stairs and lock herself into her room. She had just gotten past the doorway, when her older sister Megumi appeared at the head of the stairs.

            "Oh there you are Kaoru!" she said. Kaoru frantically shook her head and waved one hand wildly, putting another finger to her lips, trying to convey the necessity of secrecy and quiet. "What are you saying Kaoru? Where were you last night? Anyway, the parents aren't very happy with you… good luck- I'm leaving with Tsunan now!" 

            Just then, Kaoru head the rustling of a newspaper being put down and groaned inwardly. Her father cleared his voice and said,

            "Kaoru- is that you?"

            'No…' "Yes Papa, do you need something?" She asked sweetly, leaning hesitantly into the room. At her tone, her father smiled absent mindedly, and then her mother's voice cut in.

            "And where were you last night?" She asked sharply, her features immediately fixed into a frown. 

            "Yes Kaoru-chan, we were very worried about you." Her father added. Her mother glared at him and he subsided.  Her mother opened her mouth to say more when the doorbell rang and Megumi's musical laughter was heard. A few seconds later, Megumi walked in, Tsunan in tow, their hands linked. He flashed them all a charming smile that seemed to brighten the entire room. Yumi's expression immediately cleared and she smiled graciously. Kaoru heaved a silent sigh of relief as she noticed her mother's brightened disposition. Kaoru then directed her attention to the young couples clasped hands with a tug of jealousy, and her eyes surreptitiously ran over Tsunan's well dressed form.  

            From the first time she had seen him in the coffee shop, Kaoru had had a crush on him. Of course, however, as soon he had meet Megumi, he had fallen head over feet for her- like every other male on the face of the earth. Who was she kidding- everyone adored her perfect sister. **She** adored her too… Megumi was intelligent- frighteningly so, and she had many accomplishments, and she was talented and graceful. She knew how to play the piano and sing, but her passion lay in ballet. Her performances with the company she was a part of were always sold out. In addition to that, she was drop-dead double take gorgeous. Kaoru knew she wasn't exactly ugly- who could be with parents like hers? But she always felt like an ugly and out of place monkey when around her sister, especially in public. To add insult to injury, her sister was a wonderful person, kind and sweet, cheerful, attentive to everyone and she devoted much of her free time (what time there was) to charity. She was unreal. But… here she was. 

            Kaoru had never had a chance- so she grew up like a violent tomboy, throwing herself into the budo her father taught her. 'At least' Kaoru thought comforting herself, 'I have a lot of friends.' But then the voice turned on her. 'But some of them like you just because you're Megumi's baby sister, and besides that, Megumi would have more friends if she just paused and smiled at them.' 

            "Kaoru?" snapped her mother. "Kaoru! You're being rude to our guest!"

            Kaoru sighed. She was always daydreaming and being rebuked by her mother. Tsunan… he adored her sister- they were practically engaged, having dated for quite a while. Tsunan walked over to Kaoru and ruffled her shoulder length hair in a brotherly way. 

            "Hey, no problem," He said good-naturedly to Yumi, "We're practically family, and anyway, Kaoru-chan probably was thinking up something or someone way better than me, neh?" He teased, giving her a playful nudge. Tsunan immediately returned to Megumi, and took her in his arms then kissed her. 'Yeah- like you doing something like that to me.' were Kaoru's thoughts. 

            "Gomen." She mumbled, her mother looking at her disapprovingly. Megumi giggled and slapped at one of Tsunan's hands playfully. "Get off you bad boy! We're grossing everyone out! Anyway, we have to go or we'll be late… I'll call you when I get there- Ja!"

            "Bye sis- good luck." Said Kaoru.

            "Thanks." Her sister gave her a quick hug and then kissed both her parents quickly, then left.

            "Sayonara Kamiya-san." Tsunan said respectfully bowing before leaving. Yumi smiled distractedly at the young couple before transferring her attention back to Kaoru. 

            "Just where were you anyway?" Kaoru opened her mouth, but wasn't able to utter a single sound before, "Never mind- it doesn't matter. You were just up to no good and nothing important as usual. I guess you got another rejection letter then? Since you left? You know, every place practically begged Megumi to go there."

            "Kaoru, you're running out of options." Her father said seriously. 

            Annoyance added unto self disappointment, Kaoru couldn't contain herself. "I'll do what I want. I'll figure it out! It's my life- just leave me alone! You don't care anyway- I'm just someone- no, _thing_ for you to yell at!" She ran up to her room. Inside, she was still seething. 'I'll never be anything compared to Megumi- she was at the top of her class for everything and won countless awards… she has the world's best boyfriends... and… they're wrong. True, I did end up going to a club and dancing, but I had to blow off steam, and I didn't have any alcohol… and I had gone home with Kagome to help care for her elderly aunt… and before clubbing…' Kaoru's mind reviewed the previous day's events. In the afternoon, after opening her mail, she had gone to the park with another group of people to help clean up litter, and she had stayed there to practice and wait for her students- she taught kendo for free at the park building. She had only gone clubbing with some other people when some of her student's older siblings had asked her and she had agreed, loathe on facing her parents. 'Don't they think it hurts me to get rejected? Do they think I _try_ to be a failure? I try so hard… but… I did give up… Who wouldn't have? What was the point of giving your all only to end up a distant second? I'm still a distant second… only a slightly more distant one than I could have been… My grades are still respectable…' Kaoru was near the top of each of her classes, she just wasn't _the_ top. And she had gotten a few awards of her own, but nothing that Megumi hadn't gotten previously, or that could be compared with something of Megumi's. Kaoru heard the mail come, and groaned in despair, wishing that she could shrink or burrow herself into her window seat. In a few minutes, her parents would burst into her room to yell at her. One of her last letters was due today… and… she was probably going to get some angry mail… 'I really didn't mean to get into that fight last night but… that guy _really _should keep his hands to himself and not bully young women…' Kaoru stared at her curtain of beads, not really looking at them, wishing uselessly that the strands would morph into a force field to keep her from the real world. Predictably, she heard footsteps on the stairs and her mother's shrill voice- which meant she was angry.

            "Where is she?! That ungrateful little…" The door flew open. Her mother paused in disgust, looking around. "And look at all this! 'An adult' she calls herself…" Yumi stopped. "Kaoru, come here." Kaoru ignored her. "Kaoru-come here, I want to talk to you!" She screamed. Still no movement from the window. "Kaoru…" her father said threateningly. Nothing. "Kaoru- this instant!" Her mother screamed. A few seconds later, she ran to the strands of beads and hysterically began tearing them down. Kaoru sprang into action, trying to stop her mother. Her tears were forgotten as she frantically tried to stop her screaming frenzied mother. Finally, she snapped.

            "I hate you!" She screamed over Yumi's shrilling. Her father slapped her across the face as her mother frantically tore down the last few strands. As the slap rang through the room, silence fell; the only sound that could be heard in the room was the tinkling of the last falling beads and the harsh breathing of the three occupants. Then, time started again. Kaoru sank to her knees and feverishly tried to collect her precious beads. She had chosen each one carefully and strung each strand by hand on her own. She had completed the curtain the first day of middle school. Her father then spoke- he had never struck his daughters like that before.         

            "Kaoru-chan… I …" he said brokenly.

            Kaoru didn't even look up, her eyes were wild. She kept seeing only the beads falling… spilling unto the hardwood floor… rolling unto the rug… her time, her work, her effort and love… her dreams and private retreat… gone… destroyed by those who were to nurture her but actually hated her. She didn't even feel the painful stinging of her cheek which was a white, becoming an angry red imprinted on her otherwise deathly pale face. She closed her eyes and let her anger burn the tears away. She was filled with determination.

            "I was wrong…. But it doesn't even matter- **_you_** hate me."

            She quickly grabbed a bag and filled it was a few essential items and clothes. She moved so quickly and wildly that her parents didn't even realize what she was doing or react until she was almost out the door. She twisted away from their restraining hands and walked out. She ran down the street and turned the corner. Once there… she had no idea what to do. As luck would have it, as she began walking down the street filled with mopeds and motorcycles, more parked along the sides and on the sidewalk, someone called her name as she paused to shift her bag into a more comfortable position. 

            "Hey Kaoru-chan!" She turned towards the voice, and the speaker was immediately struck by the dullness in her normally brilliant sapphire eyes. "Are you ok?" He asked abruptly, leaving his bike and taking her bag from her.

            "I-"

            "Shh…" He put a hand to her mouth to cut off her false assurances. "Come on, I'll take you home." He glanced at her as she stiffened and froze while he was leading her to his bike. "Not yours, mine…" She sighed in relief and nodded gratefully as she got on. She clung to his slim waist and buried her helmeted head gratefully into his back. When the stopped, he got off and led Kaoru into a strange building. He noticed her looks. 

            "It's my new place…" He said shyly. "Like it?"

            "Like it?" She breathed as they paused in front of a door. "I love it."

            He ducked his head in embarrassment, looking at the doorknob and not her. "Don't say that until you've seen the inside…" The door swung open and revealed a tastefully and modestly decorated airy contemporary living area. Kaoru looked around impressed.

            "Soujiro- I… I'm stunned!"      

            He grinned proudly. "I got it last month… made a deal with my parents and finally made enough money and got promoted… granted it's not in the ritziest part of town and I didn't do it _all on my own, but… it's home and it's going to be mine. Soon." He then smacked himself. "I'm such an idiot- sit down! Would you like anything to drink or eat?"_

            "No… thank you, I'm fine…" She said, sitting down still admiring the furnishings.           

            He grinned wryly. "Believe me Kaoru- you're going to want something while you tell me what happened and why you're leaving home."   

            She opened her mouth to protest, looked at him, assessed his expression, and then sighed. "Do you have bottled water?"

            His face now sported a wry grin. "Of course I have water for my princess. I was planning on showing you and Misao this place soon anyway so I got a few bottles this morning, knowing you'd want some…" As he spoke he grabbed a bottle from the fridge in the kitchen and threw it to her. Kaoru caught it smoothly and Soujiro rejoined her in the room, sitting on the chair adjacent to the couch she was sitting on. She waited for him to start, but he just looked at her expectantly. 

            "So, how much is rent?" 

            Silence.

            "Do you still work at the same place Sou-chan?"

            Nothing.

            She too a sip of water and paused- finally, she gave up. "You're not going to talk to me until I tell you what happened, right?" 

            He grinned.

            "Mooouuu… Sou-chan… you're impossible! What if it's really personal and I don't want to tell anyone?"

            He lifted an eyebrow and looked at her critically, but still said nothing.

            "All right… you win…" He moved a little closer. "Well, you remember a while ago I told you I was going to start applying for summer programs… and Megumi…" She laughed humorlessly. "Duh- I don't need to tell you about how perfect she is… you've always had a crush on her…" He had the good grace to look embarrassed. "I love her, but I don't love being in her shadow. Always. And I was rejected from another research program… I just kinda stopped trying after a while because there was no point… short of finding a cure for cancer, there would be no way my parents wouldn't compare me to her and find Megumi better… Heck, even if I did _that_ they'd say she could have done it sooner. Hell… the worst thing is that they'd be right!" 

            Soujiro took her hand comfortingly. 

            "I don't know…" she continued. "It's been like this for a while and finally it just… all snapped. I stayed out all night last night… anyway, I just don't know what happened, but it was awful, and… I left. We just all lost our minds. But, too late for rationalizations now…"

            Soujiro had a certain expression on his face which Kaoru noticed. "Not anything you're thinking… get your mind out of the gutter!" She hit him lightly on the arm. "I spent most of the day and evening volunteering… anyway, I got home this morning and there was this rejection letter- that I'd known about... and... it just all snapped. My mother ripped down my curtain- you know the beaded one… I grabbed some stuff and you saw me."

            He looked shocked. "But you loved it! That was…" He couldn't find any words. It was Kaoru's private retreat- her heaven on earth. It was like a fantasy world come to life behind the curtain. It was not in front of a window, but in front of her window seat, making it like a completely different room. There was even a different theme there. That tiny section that Kaoru had that she kindly welcomed anyone to use… that touched everyone and comforted everything… it was akin to stabbing her in the heart. It was a part of her life that was almost as big as her family. "Oh Kao-chan… I'm… so sorry…" He took her into his arms and just held her. A while later, Soujiro found his mind wandering. Kaoru felt his detachment and stirred, she looked up at him.

            "Soujiro…"

            "Just tell me…" He said mischievously. "Did you go clubbing?"

            "Moouuu… you're such a guy. Yes but… Sou-chan, I didn't hug or kiss anyone! I only danced!"

            "You didn't kiss anyone eh? What a horrible problem that must be remedied…" He held her by her hips and leaned in. She put a hand to his lips and laughed.

            "Sou-chan, you wouldn't be taking advantage of a vulnerable girl in a terrible situation, would you? Anyway, there's no chance you could get Megumi through me- she and Tsunan might as well be engaged, so there's no reason for you to be kissing me." He maintained his position, and as he leaned over her prone form, he looked into her eyes that were a brilliant sapphire from her earlier tears, and an expression of pain crossed his face as she spoke. Kaoru didn't notice, however, and she squirmed out from under him. She hugged him and held him for a few seconds, then released him and placed a sisterly kiss on his forehead and gently pushed him away.

            "I can't believe I've known you all my life… you're just like a brother and I love you. You're one of my best friends." She then grinned. "Can I use your bathroom? I have to go freshen up… I probably look a fright what with my blotchy make-up-less face and all…" He pointed the way for her in silence.

            'Look horrid? She's an angel… And Megumi… Kaoru, you surpassed her long ago as my friend and in my heart… friend… best friend…' He shook his head. 'Sou-chan… you're a moron. You've been such a good _friend_ to her that you'll never be anything else… she wouldn't want to ruin anything… and you were blinded by Megumi for too long…'

            She emerged and Soujiro looked up. "Wanna crash here tonight Kaoru?" He asked casually.

            She quirked a smile, "I'd love too- I mean, I consider you to be family, but it'd hardly be proper. You, me, your apartment- all alone? I mean, you don't like me and I don't like you- not like that, so we're ok, but… it's everyone else and what they think."

            "Since when has propriety and convention ruled you Kaoru?" He argued. 'Oh please oh please oh please…' His smiling expression betrayed none of his inner thoughts. Or so he thought.            

            Kaoru walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder casually. "I know you're just trying to help me, but I don't want to inconvenience you. Anyway I can tell by your cheesy smile that you think I'm right… I'll just call Misao-chan. I hope she isn't busy with her 'Aoshi-sama'- who ever heard of someone calling their boyfriend that?" 

            Just then, the phone rang. Soujiro answered it, talked for a few seconds, then hung up. 

            "Too late Kaoru-chan, looks like you'll be staying with Misao-chan… here… well, now you can stay… she needs to come because they're painting her apartment."

            "Two girls and a guy? Now we're heading into the dark waters of an all out orgy."

            He held up both hands, expression pleasant yet blank. "It's ok, her grandfather is coming too." He then laughed. 

            "That old pervert?" She collapsed into a fit a giggles and fell into the chair she had been standing in front of. "That's worse than before… but I guess I can stay now since we'll have a "chaperone"… Thanks Sou-chan I owe you one."

            "Owe me enough to go out on a date with me?"

            She sat up and ruffled Soujiro's hair affectionately. "Such a tease- we'll figure something out, maybe we could go out with Misao and call some other people… and I'll think of some way to repay you!" 

            Hours later, Kaoru had sweet talked Okina (rather easily after some shameless flattery) into calling her parents for her to tell them where she was. She knew Okina could convince her parents to leave her alone, and she knew that her parents trusted him and wouldn't yell at him. Okina at some point had discovered a friend lived next door so he decided to visit. A long while after, he came back and announced that there was extra room there, so he would be staying there. Misao was settled in the guest room- which was about the size of a large walk in closet. Soujiro tried to convince Kaoru to take his room, but she wouldn't. Somehow she had won the argument while he had been distracted by daydreams of Kaoru in his bed. Heck, he was distracted with the thought of two beautiful women in the apartment. Especially after Okina had made some not too subtle suggestions over dinner… although Okina had been chased out by a bokken wielding Kaoru and a kunai brandishing Misao- indignant on her friend's behalf. It was then that Okina discovered his friend.

            Once everyone was situated, Kaoru took a shower, and emerged.  It was then Soujiro began to ponder and hoped he wouldn't have a nosebleed. Kaoru hadn't bought any pajamas so he had lent her some clothes. The t-shirt barely went to her upper thighs, as Soujiro wasn't that big of a guy- and she was holding the pair of (clean) boxers. 

            _When he had given them to her, he said, "It's ok… I've never worn them before, somebody gave them to me and I… don't really like them…"_

_            Kaoru grinned and thanked him. "They're great, thank you, but it's ok. I think I prefer new ones anyway."_

            "They were too big." She said with a blush, handing them over to him, and he reached out to take them. Just then, Misao and Okina walked in. 

            "Uh… Gomen!" Misao ran into the guest room.

            "Go Sou-chan!" whooped the ecchi old man. 

            "Hentai!"

            Kaoru desperately tried to salvage the situation. "No! Misao-chan, I just didn't have clothes and Sou-chan lent me something!"

            "Kaoru-chan… you can come and stay with me if it's too crowded…" leered the old man not completely jokingly.

            "Jiy-aaaa" wailed Misao. "I'm _so_ glad there are no perverts like you anywhere near my age…Get out of here old man- Soujiro, take care of him. Kaoru-chan, come with me."

            When Soujiro finally escaped the two talkative old men, and walked back into his apartment, he thought he'd pass out. Clearly Misao had also showered and she and Kaoru were lounging on the couches wearing nightgowns- very sheer little… nightgowns. 'So Misao does have a figure.' He thought absentmindedly. The two girls were watching a movie.

            He wiped the trickle of blood from his nose as they noticed him.

             "Hey there, Soujiro!"

            "Hi Sou-chan!"

            "Hey. I'll be right back." He left and grabbed some snacks and drinks from the fridge, also to calm down. 'I am not a hentai. I just have been around those two old guys too long. I just have to realize that I have two beautiful scantily clad girls in my apartment. Who are spending the night. With just me. Ohhhh man…'

            Misao appeared in the doorway of the kitchen with Kaoru looking up over the couch she was sitting on. 

            "Need any help you two?" She called.

            "No, we got it." Misao answered, grabbing the food as Soujiro carried in the cans. He put them down on the small coffee table and was about to sit on the floor when Kaoru squealed and said to him,

            "No! You sit here and protect me!" he sat down next to her and, just then something happened in the movie- Kaoru dove for Soujiro, hiding her face against his chest. 

            Misao was on the next couch hugging a cushion. "Kaoru-chan doesn't do blood." She explained. "Or scary stuff…" She added as an after thought when Kaoru peeked at the screen only to duck down again. Soujiro cocked an eyebrow. 

            "Then why…"

            "Because it's a good movie." Explained Kaoru, lifting her head and settling herself more normally, before she was situated, however, someone on the screen brandished a sword, meaning someone was about to be killed. 

            "Eep!" Kaoru was practically in Soujiro's lap. He stroked her hair comfortingly and looked at Misao. She shrugged, and continued watching the movie, saying only,

            "You should have seen her in the theatre."

            When it was almost over, there was an epic battle. Kaoru, who had been gravitating away from Soujiro was firmly on his lap while he whispered to her generally what was happening to the movie characters as per her demands. He lay down to make them both more comfortable, taking Kaoru with him gently and cradling her against him. When the battle was over, the movie was too. Misao got up as the credits began playing and yawned.

            "I'm gonna turn in now- don't stay up too late kids!"

            "Goodnight Misao." said Soujiro.

            "Oyasumi Misao-chan." murmured Kaoru. The next thing showing was a romantic movie. As the door shut, Kaoru peered at Soujiro. 

            "Are you tired?" She asked gently.

            He shook his head slightly. 

            "Want to watch the next movie and keep me company?" She asked.

            "I'd love to."

            The movie started with a tragedy and Kaoru began to cry. He stroked her arm soothingly.  

            "Shh… Kaoru-chan… are you ok?" he asked gently.

            She sniffed. "Yeah… I feel so stupid, but this movie, the beginning always makes me so sad… it's so sweet and beautiful… and that girl loses so much… and… it makes me feel so alone."

            "It's ok… I'm here." He whispered gently.

            They fell asleep on the couch before the movie ended.

~*~*~*~*~*~

            **BANG**

            Kaoru woke up. She was surrounded by a fluffy down comforter on a soft mattress. "Where-oh… Soujiro put me in his room… how nice of him." She grinned. "So tired…" She snuggled back into the bed. A while later, Misao walked in.

            "Get up Kaoru-chan."

            "No."   

            "There's food…" Misao coaxed.

            "Overrated."

            "Kaoru-chan."

            "No."

            "She's impossible." Misao muttered. "Anyway, I have to meet Aoshi-sama. Ja!"

            "Bye. Have fun and be good."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            A while later, Soujiro got Kaoru up, and told her he had to go to work. They ate a quick breakfast; Kaoru changed, and then went home because she knew both her parents would be gone. She got some more clothes and essentials, trying to ignore the gaping space where her curtain once was. She dropped her stuff off at Soujiro's- he had given her the spare key- and went immediately to practice her kendo to relief some of her inner tension. Kaoru didn't do anything too strenuous, however, because she didn't want to get sweaty- she still had other things to do. As she was about to leave, a tall man about her age she guessed, with spiky bleached hair bumped into her. He continued walking without and apology.

            'Mou- what a jerk…' She glanced at her watch, 'oops! I have to be at the library now!'

            ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: One of my friends thought one of my guy friends was gay… and he isn't- and I told him that (somebody thought he was gay), and I guess it injured his masculine pride, so he wants (at least) the three of us to do something and he's going to prove he's not gay… I think I'm a bit scared. Good thing the chick is across the country right now… =Þ should I turn the event into a fic? It'll definitely be humor… 

This is **really** pathetic… due to my age, a lot of colleges think that I am only a high school senior, and I am still/once again getting college mail… so… if you sue me, you can have college view books. And if you flame me, prepare to get pounds of mail. Although, I think I could take a flame b/c it'd up the count, but it might depress me for a long time preventing writing, of course so far it seems that nobody would mind… Oh, and… I like "neh" it's "hen" spelled backwards, and a very old inside joke. 

Lastly, I know I know I know the characters are paired up **all wrong** you'll just have to read and see. (Hint- if you know anything about my other fics, I think the answer won't be too hard. And if you haven't read anything else I've written, now's your chance.) ^_~


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